Fuck ESPN

Let me preface this by revealing the cause of my disdain for sports in general, and especially ESPN: an ex boyfriend, whom I dated for 6 years. He could not breathe without the assistance of the sports network. It was his oxygen. The guy watched ESPN, read ESPN Magazine, listened to ESPN radio, and was on the computer - ESPN online, of course - all at once for most of our last year together. Obsessive? Yeah, just a little. Redundant? Let's just say that by the end of the day I could announce the "lead stories" on Sports Center along with the anchors. You'd have to be an idiot not to, as they were the same as the last three times I'd heard them! But that was years ago, and I've managed to avoid being annoyed by the meatheads simply by just avoiding them altogether. Until last week...

According to the ESPN blog, Prince may not present his fans with a compelling performance again, due to a hip replacement (which may or may not have happened). Apparently these dumb-ass jocks think that he's nothing without his splits. Well, I guess they wouldn't be impressed with Peyton Manning either, even if he played countless instruments, sang in a consistently strong and soulful voice, and commanded an audience with more power in his pinky finger than most performers could muster in their dreams. Not to mention all while looking as hot and young as he did 20 years ago! Ummmm... and the music? Isn't that what it's really all about? He's written some of the best, most beautiful, sexiest, most fun, and danceable songs in my lifetime. So no, Prince didn't run like a fool around the stage. No, there were no bouncy splits. And yes, we were treated to one of the greatest, scandal-less Superbowl performances in history (move over wardrobe malfunctions!). So fuck you keg-standing, frat boy, failed athlete writers. An injury may knock out one of your gods, but for those of us who recognize genuine and multi-faceted talent, Prince rules, new hip and all.